"Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd

So today was my first Sunday, and it has been stressful. Its amazing how different it is to go to church when you are going as part of your job (at least on some level). Things were different (obviously since I'm at a church whose record attendance falls in the 60s not 600s), but not bad.

My lesson this morning on Acts 3 & 4 could have used some polishing. I would attribute my troubles adjusting to this being a serial class as opposed to what I am used to, which is a more idea by idea approach. that coupled with not knowing how long the class should be (I thought 30 minutes; correct answer 45 minutes)

After church we headed to a nice little diner in town the Down Dari Delight. There was one waitress. A pleasant girl to be sure and must have expected us since about half the church arriving didn't phase her one bit. I had a good burger and some fries and was introduced to the idea of a Horseshoe. The Horseshoe (as I came to know) is a piece of bread topped with some kind of meat (chicken tenders on the one I saw) with a load of fries on that and topped off with cheese sauce. So the heartstopping (literally) style of meals is alive and well in the Midwest, though admittedly behind the Southern way of doing things: Bread it, Fry it, Put a stick in it and its a delicacy.

After lunch I spent sometime chatting with Phil at his house, some about how I might be able to better integrate into the youth group, some good ideas were brought up about what they might respond best to. I expressed some concerns that had been eating at me for a time. About these kids backgrounds and how worried I was that even if I reached the point that they trusted me enough to share their struggles with me, what would I say? I don't know what its like to be abused, physically, sexually, or in anyway, I mean my life hasn't been easy I have had my struggles, but I worry that even with those I am still so far from these kids experientially, so how could I connect?

It did help to get that off my chest with him, I had talked with Preston (my roommate) about it briefly last night, but I felt like if I really wanted Phil to see where I was coming from he needed to know how I feel about this. All this is not to say that I'm not going to try, and that I'm not going to lean on God to help me, but it is to say that I reckognize that weakness, and I'm praying that God will fulfill his promise and show his perfection in my weakness (as I know he will).

Tonight at church I gave the youth my first real devo, about worrying. Seemed appropriate. In fact Phil went ahead and pushed me off of my first cliff; he made me sing solo to the kids (an exercise they have all done) I did and they say I'm not too bad. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that.

So I went ahead and told them about the first time I understood the idea of Matthew 6:25-34 which ends with one of the most calming things Jesus ever said, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I shared with them about the worry that came over me around the time of my parents, all the things that were thrown up in the air, the things I couldn't know or even control the outcome of (like whether we could keep the house, car, and dogs), and it was only when I let those go that I was able to do something with those things I could help (taking care of my Dad and Sister the best I could, getting and maintaining a job, while balancing that with schoolwork).

As many of you know there is more to come from that time in my life, but I wanted to share with these kids who live in uncertain times, in uncertain circumstances, that they shouldn't carry that worry with them but let it go.

During the devo I read the afforementioned passage and a girl, Ashley (the oldest among the girls still in High School), began to giggle. as I ended my lesson I looked at her and she explained that she was laughing because apparently I say "grow" funny. I don't know what that means really, but I already knew I had a slight accent and I had told them that, so whats the deal.

the Song of the Day is "Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Because it is my ringtone and reminds me of home when I'm a long ways off.

-matt

"Carry Me Through" by Dave Barnes

So I'm here in Meredosia, and honestly I really miss home. I've never realized what a blessing it was to be surrounded by so many groups of people to spend time with until I had only the one. Now don't get me wrong I like the people here in the Dosh, but its just so strange.

I walk from where I'm staying to Phil's (the head minister's) house, and what I see is a community that was once a prosperous town. Now it seems the shell of its former self, filled with countless broken homes, buildings that have gone many years without care, and many cars that are just this side of croaking.

I wasn't prepared for the way this town looked and appeared. I mean when most of us think of small town america we think of a town where everyone knows each other, and goes to church together and the worst problem you run into is a little gossip and dancing. That may be an over simplification, but you know what I mean. What you don't imagine is a place full of broken families from divorce. Drug use and production are thriving, as well as alcohol abuse and all manner of domestic violence and abuse. Its a place where since there parents are so hung up on their own stuggles and issues few kids know what its like to be loved or even to have a parent who cares enough to give them rules. Sadly this is closer to the truth of small town America than anything in our imaginations or in Mayberry.

Its been a shock to my system, but the kids are great. The youth group clearly are looking for God in the people around them and I hope they can see him in me. I've had several long talks with Phil and we see eye to eye on what part I can have in there lives and what I can do for them.

I've been here 1 day (2 nights) and it won't be easy, its a different place, a different mindset than anything I've experienced, and a lot is being asked of me, but I'll do what God has strengthened me to do with them and no less.

The Song of the Day for today, is "Carry Me Through" by Dave Barnes. Because like the song says, "There's a mountain Here before me And I'm going to climb it With strength not my own."

-matt