So today was my first Sunday, and it has been stressful. Its amazing how different it is to go to church when you are going as part of your job (at least on some level). Things were different (obviously since I'm at a church whose record attendance falls in the 60s not 600s), but not bad.
My lesson this morning on Acts 3 & 4 could have used some polishing. I would attribute my troubles adjusting to this being a serial class as opposed to what I am used to, which is a more idea by idea approach. that coupled with not knowing how long the class should be (I thought 30 minutes; correct answer 45 minutes)
After church we headed to a nice little diner in town the Down Dari Delight. There was one waitress. A pleasant girl to be sure and must have expected us since about half the church arriving didn't phase her one bit. I had a good burger and some fries and was introduced to the idea of a Horseshoe. The Horseshoe (as I came to know) is a piece of bread topped with some kind of meat (chicken tenders on the one I saw) with a load of fries on that and topped off with cheese sauce. So the heartstopping (literally) style of meals is alive and well in the Midwest, though admittedly behind the Southern way of doing things: Bread it, Fry it, Put a stick in it and its a delicacy.
After lunch I spent sometime chatting with Phil at his house, some about how I might be able to better integrate into the youth group, some good ideas were brought up about what they might respond best to. I expressed some concerns that had been eating at me for a time. About these kids backgrounds and how worried I was that even if I reached the point that they trusted me enough to share their struggles with me, what would I say? I don't know what its like to be abused, physically, sexually, or in anyway, I mean my life hasn't been easy I have had my struggles, but I worry that even with those I am still so far from these kids experientially, so how could I connect?
It did help to get that off my chest with him, I had talked with Preston (my roommate) about it briefly last night, but I felt like if I really wanted Phil to see where I was coming from he needed to know how I feel about this. All this is not to say that I'm not going to try, and that I'm not going to lean on God to help me, but it is to say that I reckognize that weakness, and I'm praying that God will fulfill his promise and show his perfection in my weakness (as I know he will).
Tonight at church I gave the youth my first real devo, about worrying. Seemed appropriate. In fact Phil went ahead and pushed me off of my first cliff; he made me sing solo to the kids (an exercise they have all done) I did and they say I'm not too bad. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that.
So I went ahead and told them about the first time I understood the idea of Matthew 6:25-34 which ends with one of the most calming things Jesus ever said, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I shared with them about the worry that came over me around the time of my parents, all the things that were thrown up in the air, the things I couldn't know or even control the outcome of (like whether we could keep the house, car, and dogs), and it was only when I let those go that I was able to do something with those things I could help (taking care of my Dad and Sister the best I could, getting and maintaining a job, while balancing that with schoolwork).
As many of you know there is more to come from that time in my life, but I wanted to share with these kids who live in uncertain times, in uncertain circumstances, that they shouldn't carry that worry with them but let it go.
During the devo I read the afforementioned passage and a girl, Ashley (the oldest among the girls still in High School), began to giggle. as I ended my lesson I looked at her and she explained that she was laughing because apparently I say "grow" funny. I don't know what that means really, but I already knew I had a slight accent and I had told them that, so whats the deal.
the Song of the Day is "Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Because it is my ringtone and reminds me of home when I'm a long ways off.
-matt
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
"Carry Me Through" by Dave Barnes
So I'm here in Meredosia, and honestly I really miss home. I've never realized what a blessing it was to be surrounded by so many groups of people to spend time with until I had only the one. Now don't get me wrong I like the people here in the Dosh, but its just so strange.
I walk from where I'm staying to Phil's (the head minister's) house, and what I see is a community that was once a prosperous town. Now it seems the shell of its former self, filled with countless broken homes, buildings that have gone many years without care, and many cars that are just this side of croaking.
I wasn't prepared for the way this town looked and appeared. I mean when most of us think of small town america we think of a town where everyone knows each other, and goes to church together and the worst problem you run into is a little gossip and dancing. That may be an over simplification, but you know what I mean. What you don't imagine is a place full of broken families from divorce. Drug use and production are thriving, as well as alcohol abuse and all manner of domestic violence and abuse. Its a place where since there parents are so hung up on their own stuggles and issues few kids know what its like to be loved or even to have a parent who cares enough to give them rules. Sadly this is closer to the truth of small town America than anything in our imaginations or in Mayberry.
Its been a shock to my system, but the kids are great. The youth group clearly are looking for God in the people around them and I hope they can see him in me. I've had several long talks with Phil and we see eye to eye on what part I can have in there lives and what I can do for them.
I've been here 1 day (2 nights) and it won't be easy, its a different place, a different mindset than anything I've experienced, and a lot is being asked of me, but I'll do what God has strengthened me to do with them and no less.
The Song of the Day for today, is "Carry Me Through" by Dave Barnes. Because like the song says, "There's a mountain Here before me And I'm going to climb it With strength not my own."
-matt
I walk from where I'm staying to Phil's (the head minister's) house, and what I see is a community that was once a prosperous town. Now it seems the shell of its former self, filled with countless broken homes, buildings that have gone many years without care, and many cars that are just this side of croaking.
I wasn't prepared for the way this town looked and appeared. I mean when most of us think of small town america we think of a town where everyone knows each other, and goes to church together and the worst problem you run into is a little gossip and dancing. That may be an over simplification, but you know what I mean. What you don't imagine is a place full of broken families from divorce. Drug use and production are thriving, as well as alcohol abuse and all manner of domestic violence and abuse. Its a place where since there parents are so hung up on their own stuggles and issues few kids know what its like to be loved or even to have a parent who cares enough to give them rules. Sadly this is closer to the truth of small town America than anything in our imaginations or in Mayberry.
Its been a shock to my system, but the kids are great. The youth group clearly are looking for God in the people around them and I hope they can see him in me. I've had several long talks with Phil and we see eye to eye on what part I can have in there lives and what I can do for them.
I've been here 1 day (2 nights) and it won't be easy, its a different place, a different mindset than anything I've experienced, and a lot is being asked of me, but I'll do what God has strengthened me to do with them and no less.
The Song of the Day for today, is "Carry Me Through" by Dave Barnes. Because like the song says, "There's a mountain Here before me And I'm going to climb it With strength not my own."
-matt
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
"Peace on Earth/The Little Drummer Boy" by Bing Crosby & David Bowie
So I apologize that I haven't been on in a while I know there aren't many people who keep up with me this way but to the few that do I'm sorry.
Well this semester was a busy one, hence my lack of updating, but I'm glad to say I escaped this trying semester with a 3.63 gpa, which isn't stellar when you consider its the first case of a B or C I've had in 2 years, and I got one of each. Oh well, the both were from classes that I took for granted as easy classes and so there was alot of work I didn't do and should be thankful I didn't get a worse grade.
as far as my social life, I'm sad to see the end of J-stan's hall which was composed of 26 of the greatest guys I know (actually 28 but those guys on the end never did anything with us, I don't even know their names). Next semester several of them, including our leader J-stan, will be leaving some for different floors others for apartments, and still others for overseas programs. Yes, second floor won't be the same.
In general I'm a better guy after this year. I know there are goals I set that I haven't yet reached but I am doing alot better. I'm more positive, more confident, overall I feel better.
I love Christmas and yet I couldn't careless. I love the season but honestly, its just another day. I've said before that I'm not much for birthday's particularly an arbitrarily chosen day in the winter. Not that I don't think that observance of the miracle that is Christ's birth is unnecessary, but that I feel there is, too, much focus on it this time of year and not at other's in fact very few songs that we sing (about Jesus) at this time of year are particular to this season but we have relagated them there because time and usage dictate them to be there. I love some of these songs and wish that I didn't have to wait a calendar year to hear them.
The Song of the Day is "Peace on Earth/The Little Drummer Boy" by Bing Crosby & David Bowie. Now that pairing is a Christmas Miracle.
-matt
Well this semester was a busy one, hence my lack of updating, but I'm glad to say I escaped this trying semester with a 3.63 gpa, which isn't stellar when you consider its the first case of a B or C I've had in 2 years, and I got one of each. Oh well, the both were from classes that I took for granted as easy classes and so there was alot of work I didn't do and should be thankful I didn't get a worse grade.
as far as my social life, I'm sad to see the end of J-stan's hall which was composed of 26 of the greatest guys I know (actually 28 but those guys on the end never did anything with us, I don't even know their names). Next semester several of them, including our leader J-stan, will be leaving some for different floors others for apartments, and still others for overseas programs. Yes, second floor won't be the same.
In general I'm a better guy after this year. I know there are goals I set that I haven't yet reached but I am doing alot better. I'm more positive, more confident, overall I feel better.
I love Christmas and yet I couldn't careless. I love the season but honestly, its just another day. I've said before that I'm not much for birthday's particularly an arbitrarily chosen day in the winter. Not that I don't think that observance of the miracle that is Christ's birth is unnecessary, but that I feel there is, too, much focus on it this time of year and not at other's in fact very few songs that we sing (about Jesus) at this time of year are particular to this season but we have relagated them there because time and usage dictate them to be there. I love some of these songs and wish that I didn't have to wait a calendar year to hear them.
The Song of the Day is "Peace on Earth/The Little Drummer Boy" by Bing Crosby & David Bowie. Now that pairing is a Christmas Miracle.
-matt
Saturday, September 20, 2008
"Save Me" by Remy Zero
So today I'm feeling the best I've felt in a long time, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I can't explain it really I just am and praise God for it.
we've been watching alot of Smallville lately, and its really been fun, doing all of this with the guys just hanging out having a good time.
"Save Me" by Remy Zero is the song for the day, and its all because is the Smallville theme song.
we've been watching alot of Smallville lately, and its really been fun, doing all of this with the guys just hanging out having a good time.
"Save Me" by Remy Zero is the song for the day, and its all because is the Smallville theme song.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
"Stand by Me" by Ben E. King
Yeah Yeah I know I'm a terrible person for not updating in so long, but I did call my mom on her birthday, so I can't be all bad.
Anyway, there's alot to say, but I'll probably gloss over the finer points since its been over a month since a post.
I do know that I've been feeling pretty down lately. Its really a combination of things. First and foremost I feel like a jerk, I'm here costing us money at school, while my family is struggling financially (although praise the LORD because my dad finally has a job!) I'm seriously considering starting up working over at Zaxby's I really don't want to but I'm going to have to make some money, some how because neither dad nor anyone else can help me out with money this year. We still haven't gotten my financial aid handled either.
I do feel like I gave a really good devo lesson, and I thank God for the ability to do that.
My classes are going well. Developmental Psychology is interesting though I bombed a test I had studied days for in that class. Acts of the Apostles has been... shall we say interesting. Don't get me wrong I like the class, but the teacher is very interesting, very animated and very knowledgeable. Research and Writing (or BRES as we call it) is by far the most boring class I have its supposed to help prepare us for researching paper, but its so intensely slow and uninteresting. Life of Christ is a great class, the teacher is an adjunct proffessor that is also a youth minister, and he really knows what he is talking about. Human Situation is kind of an odd class I'm not completely sure how I feel about it. The class seems to be all about "being able to live artfully" and I think I get that, but its not as easy to really put into practice. My favorite class believe it or not is Greek, I'm not sure what about it really appeals to me, but it does.
Else wise I don't even know my whats up in my personal life anymore, I have been enjoying time with guy friends chilling in the dorms and all, but I'm definitely wanting for more.
As a final note a major "What the Heck?" goes out to Auburn's Football Team for that horrifyingly awful display against Mississippi State last night, even if you admit to the fact that Mississippi State has a good defense and Auburn is transitioning into a new spread offense, there is no excuse for Auburn putting up all 5 points in that 3-2 victory...
The song for the day is "Stand by Me" by Ben E. King, because I just watched the movie of the same title.
-matt
Anyway, there's alot to say, but I'll probably gloss over the finer points since its been over a month since a post.
I do know that I've been feeling pretty down lately. Its really a combination of things. First and foremost I feel like a jerk, I'm here costing us money at school, while my family is struggling financially (although praise the LORD because my dad finally has a job!) I'm seriously considering starting up working over at Zaxby's I really don't want to but I'm going to have to make some money, some how because neither dad nor anyone else can help me out with money this year. We still haven't gotten my financial aid handled either.
I do feel like I gave a really good devo lesson, and I thank God for the ability to do that.
My classes are going well. Developmental Psychology is interesting though I bombed a test I had studied days for in that class. Acts of the Apostles has been... shall we say interesting. Don't get me wrong I like the class, but the teacher is very interesting, very animated and very knowledgeable. Research and Writing (or BRES as we call it) is by far the most boring class I have its supposed to help prepare us for researching paper, but its so intensely slow and uninteresting. Life of Christ is a great class, the teacher is an adjunct proffessor that is also a youth minister, and he really knows what he is talking about. Human Situation is kind of an odd class I'm not completely sure how I feel about it. The class seems to be all about "being able to live artfully" and I think I get that, but its not as easy to really put into practice. My favorite class believe it or not is Greek, I'm not sure what about it really appeals to me, but it does.
Else wise I don't even know my whats up in my personal life anymore, I have been enjoying time with guy friends chilling in the dorms and all, but I'm definitely wanting for more.
As a final note a major "What the Heck?" goes out to Auburn's Football Team for that horrifyingly awful display against Mississippi State last night, even if you admit to the fact that Mississippi State has a good defense and Auburn is transitioning into a new spread offense, there is no excuse for Auburn putting up all 5 points in that 3-2 victory...
The song for the day is "Stand by Me" by Ben E. King, because I just watched the movie of the same title.
-matt
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
"A-Punk" by Vampire Weekend
so less than a month left until school starts and I must say I'm excited.
I love my family and friends here and will miss them dearly, but there is something so inviting about school. I mean, I'll have an awesome roommate, and even though a number of my friends will be gone, I know there will be plenty of people I know still there, and plenty of people to meet.
I don't know what I'm doing in the mean time, it seems like the need to be in a relationship is spreading through the Young Proffessionals group at church and the thing is that none of them is near my age group. So even if I did like one of them, and there is definitely one I enjoy talking to and being around.
Point being that I have never understood why exactly this happens I mean first its one couple then two, and before you know it they're everywhere, and I guess my big issue is that I don't have any chance to establish a meaningful relationship in the next 20 days or so. Even if I did have the confidence for such a thing.
thats all just a little venting.
The song of the day is "A-Punk" by Vampire Weekend, because it reminds me of good times had at school.
-matt
I love my family and friends here and will miss them dearly, but there is something so inviting about school. I mean, I'll have an awesome roommate, and even though a number of my friends will be gone, I know there will be plenty of people I know still there, and plenty of people to meet.
I don't know what I'm doing in the mean time, it seems like the need to be in a relationship is spreading through the Young Proffessionals group at church and the thing is that none of them is near my age group. So even if I did like one of them, and there is definitely one I enjoy talking to and being around.
Point being that I have never understood why exactly this happens I mean first its one couple then two, and before you know it they're everywhere, and I guess my big issue is that I don't have any chance to establish a meaningful relationship in the next 20 days or so. Even if I did have the confidence for such a thing.
thats all just a little venting.
The song of the day is "A-Punk" by Vampire Weekend, because it reminds me of good times had at school.
-matt
Sunday, July 13, 2008
"Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra
I finally got a job at Zaxby's; its a pretty easy job, too. I press buttons, in fact I'm fairly certain that ,if it weren't for all the poo-slinging, monkeys would be doing this job. The people are alright, except for James. His name is James, and he is under the impression that everything he thinks should be verbalized and that every instruction he gives is infallible, but his most annoying trait is that whenever a cute girl shows up he makes an excuse to go out and then talks to her. I just wish that he would bring back trays or clean a little while he's out there, especially since he works drive thru and has no business going out there in the first place.
I can't believe that there's little more than a month left til school start. I'm pumped. Don't get me wrong home is nice, but I can't wait to be back at Harding, I miss the atmosphere; I miss hanging out and just chatting with people; I even miss learning. I'm excited, because I'll get, too, see old friends, and get to make some new ones. I've already kinda started I know a few people who will be freshman next year. There's this one girl, Emily, who is awesome, I haven't technically met her yet, but if she's as awesome in person, we'll be cool. If nothing else she loves Demetri Martin.
It hit me yesterday how awesome it will be having Preston as a roommate. He wants us to try to knock out the IMDB top 250 while at school. While I love the spirit of the plan, I think we need to cut it down to maybe the top 100 or top 50 because 250 is just alot that would be about two movies a day or something. Regardless, I can't wait, because he gets so passionate about things, which is just a great quality to have.
I am a little disappointed in how my summer has turned out. It had so much potential, but without getting a job until so late most of that potential has been lost. I'm looking forward to Ney-a-ti, I love helping with the kids as crazy as they are.
The song for the day is "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra, because no one sings it better.
-matt
I can't believe that there's little more than a month left til school start. I'm pumped. Don't get me wrong home is nice, but I can't wait to be back at Harding, I miss the atmosphere; I miss hanging out and just chatting with people; I even miss learning. I'm excited, because I'll get, too, see old friends, and get to make some new ones. I've already kinda started I know a few people who will be freshman next year. There's this one girl, Emily, who is awesome, I haven't technically met her yet, but if she's as awesome in person, we'll be cool. If nothing else she loves Demetri Martin.
It hit me yesterday how awesome it will be having Preston as a roommate. He wants us to try to knock out the IMDB top 250 while at school. While I love the spirit of the plan, I think we need to cut it down to maybe the top 100 or top 50 because 250 is just alot that would be about two movies a day or something. Regardless, I can't wait, because he gets so passionate about things, which is just a great quality to have.
I am a little disappointed in how my summer has turned out. It had so much potential, but without getting a job until so late most of that potential has been lost. I'm looking forward to Ney-a-ti, I love helping with the kids as crazy as they are.
The song for the day is "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra, because no one sings it better.
-matt
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)