"Can't Takes My Eyes off of You" by Frank Sinatra

I'm becoming more and more aware that people actually read these posts.

That being said, I think I'm going to start doing some over hauling in my life getting rid of things I dislike and adding some things I so.

For example, I'm going to stop being intimidated by girls, in particular the pretty ones. I've seen enough guys around here that are rank low in the asthetics department with beautiful girls, so I'm going to move past that weakness. In particular there is this absolutely stunning girl in my biology class. Minimum she is an 8.5 of 10, and I'm petrified to even speak to her but I can't stop from staring while that class is going on, I think I might change that.

I'm sure there are others but that is a primary goal.

The song for the day is "Can't Takes My Eyes off of You" by Frank Sinatra, in memory of the late great Heath Ledger, and because I think it applies.

"Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed

Well, I'm officially very sick. My head is pounding, my nose is running, and stopped up all at once. My sneezing and coughing reflexes are on red alert, and my throat feels like its on fire.

I missed out on a job opportunity today, but I'm still really hopeful that I can find something. I've been spending my waking hours, practicing chords on my guitar and playing video games... oh and sleeping, alot.

I'm going to see the nurse tomorrow, I hope she has something that will just knock me out.

I have broken an unwritten rule that I have about naming blogs. I have named two consecutive entries after songs by the same artist. The song of the day is "Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed. I should hope that the reason would be obvious.

-matt

"Remember" by Disturbed

As I look back on this past years of my life and consider all I've done with my life, I've begun to consider all those whose lives have been tied to mine for even a moment. Those I've bumped into and apologized to, those who have served me at restaurants, those I've met through friends, those who became friends, and those that I couldn't live without it.

I've wondered what my life would be like without them, and what they're lives would be like without me. I think about those I left on bad terms, those whose lives I've heard of going down hill after my departure from them. I wonder if I could have done anything. If I had stayed connected with them, would their lives have varied. Would mine?

I've been thinking about my friend James alot since I saw him last week. I remember meeting him, and the slow sometimes painful progression of our friendship. I remember the times he looked after me, and I him.

Then I consider where he is now. He is going down a rough path. He decided not to go to college. He's engaged to a girl that he used to hate. A girl who is dedicated to removing all of his friends from his life. Most of us haven't recieved an invite to his wedding and probably won't. Only one of us was invited, as the best man, but he has something else he is dedicated to. Plus he doesn't support the marriage. Most of us are willing to accept him being with this girl, like her or not, but what we don't support is him getting married so young with no prospect of ever having a college education.

The worst thing is she is using us not liking her as a reason for him to avoid us. Everytime we want to hang out, she has to be there. He is definitely in the top 10 of the most influential people in my life, which makes it so hard to watch him just give up and settle like this. He has always been smarter than any of us, in school and most other stuff, but he never saw reason to try, and now he never will.

"Remember" by Disturbed...nuff said.

-matt