Sometimes its hard to really keep going, ya know?
Ive been getting beat down by the application process, I just got my latest rejection and the only reason was that I wouldn't be staying past August, and I'll be honest I'd never expected that when I got here (this three day period where my dad is legally 31 days older) that I would still be unemployed.
And yet I persevere. I'm planning on going to several places today (mostly fast food places) that are within walking distance and applying, this is the last push after this I don't know what to do. I have no car so if I can't get there on foot or get a ride on a regular basis then I don't know what I'll do.
I just want to know why I can't get a decent job? Am I not meant to get one? Am I not being aggressive enough? What is it?
Anyway the Song for the Day is "I'm So Tired" by The Beatles, because my mind is on the blink.
-matt
PS Sara has a bf.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
"Two Coins" by Dispatch
I know that last post was so serious so I'll try to lighten the mood a bit with a story that occurred last Friday.
It started simply enough. I get a call from Lionel telling me that we're having some kind of bachelor party for James, and that we're going to Hooters. Appropriate enough I figure, since its either that or strippers I figured that Hooters would be the better option. So around 6:30 I head across town to the Hooters and get there right as the others do, and we head in. We ran into a snag with arranging for a table because though the four of us (Ben, James, Lionel, and I) were there, we weren't sure how many others we were going to have we estimated 6 at the most, and after about 15-20 minutes of waiting, and talking, they call us and we get walked to our table, we were quickly asked if we thought we needed the two remaining chairs and from what I could tell they took the one next to James. So the layout was (from about the (clockwise from the 11 oclock position empty spot, James, Ben, (going to other side of table) Lionel, me, and empty spot (with chair)
And then she walks up, this trim beautiful woman, "Sara" as her name badge indicated. She was our waitress. She smiled at us through her brown hair that hung in her face ever so slightly. She introduced herself (in that perfectly sweet southern accent that can melt even the most hardened of men) and took our drink orders. I was stunned by her, but not surprised if you catch my meaning. We were at a Hooters, and, after all, they do pride themselves on hiring an attractive waiting staff.
After she had left, none of us taking special note of her (at least to one another) we start joking and I asked what shenanigans they had been up to, and this started us down a the road of quoting Super Troopers (as it has many times before), and then Sara approaches with our drinks and as she passes them to us she asks, "Is that from Super Troopers?" We were taken aback none of us had ever been asked if it was from that film, occasionally we got a "Oh, whats that from?" but it was never asked by name especially not by a girl. "Yeah," I said, trying to hide my shock. "Oh I love that movie!" she said, and then with out skipping a beat she finishes the quote, "Thats it I'm gonna pistol whip the next one of ya that says shenanigans." I was sold, this had to be the greatest waitress I had ever met. We laughed for a bit and then she headed off to take someone else's orders.
As I looked around I observed several girls, some in heavy flirtation with their guests. "How they guarantee a good tip," we joked. I observed some that would even sit down next with their guests while taking down their orders, so I wasn't super surprised when Sara returned and promptly took a seat next to me ("Only one available," I thought to myself) she took our orders flashed us a smile and headed off.
Then the guys started in on me. "She wants you man," "She sat next to you like it was nothing" and so on. I protested, "Alot of the girls here sit next to the customers while they take down the orders, and this was the only seat." "Was it?" James said, I looked around the corner of the table to see that that stool had either never left or at least found its way back to us. "Why would she sit next to me?" I said.
Now I don't consider myself to be hideous but I'm not exactly a stunning male specimen either. I certainly figured if she was given the choice she would have picked James over me.
My friends reasoning? She was interested in me. "Whatever guys," I said. This wouldn't be the first time they had thought something like this would be funny. Plus, few guys really get nervous under pressure quite the way I do and if anyone knows it its these 3 guys (The bastards). I did my best to shrug it off, but then she did something, hard to ignore.
She sat back down at the table, less like a waitress, and more as if she was a member of our party who had left for the bathroom and was just now coming back to the table. Then she turned to me paying no mind to the others, "Do you know who you look like?" she asked me, "Here we go," I thought, as I watched the guys all try to hide their ear to ear smiles. "I have heard a few before, but go for it." We were all waiting to hear: "Josh, from Drake and Josh," or "Andy Milonakis," or even "A Fat Adam Brody (of The OC)," we had heard all of them before, but she added a new one. "That guy from... oh whats that movie, Accepted or Unaccepted?" We knew exactly who she meant. Jonah Hill, a tubby guy, with a reddish brown fro, who appeared not only in Accepted but several other movies, most prominently in Superbad. In fact she joked with me that I should change my last name to Mcluvin.
The guys couldn't hold back their laughter, but she seemed to pick up on my discomfort and quickly added "He's one of my favorite actors!" "Well thanks," I said not wanting her to fret over whether or not I felt insulted and honestly I wasn't I've been compared to worse.
My focus actually lay more on the special attention I was getting and it wasn't lot on my friends either. And after much joking the finished by essentially stating, "Flowers man you've gotta ask her for her number." "Oh, great," I thought, "this is a fair expectation, I mean, I'm just the most insecure guy at the table (ok maybe Ben was normally, but in this moment I was definitely the one leading that race), and they want me, a fat white guy to ask out this gorgeous woman, yeah I'm sure this is what she wants. To get hit on I'm sure she gets this alot."
I was still staunchly arguing to convince them, and somewhat to convince myself, of all the reasons it won't work. "Come on," they pushed. Luckily two other waitresses arrived with our food, well their food, I should say, you see once all the plates were on the table I found myself lacking, Sara then came by hurriedly, assessed our drinks and went off to get refills and when she returned she asked, "Everybody have everything?" With a small laugh in my voice I said, "Well, I don't have my food." "Oh! I'm soo sorry I'll go check and see what happened."
"She just wants to give it to you herself," they said (and note they weren't all speaking in unison, but I was a bit distracted to take note of which of them was saying what. "Yeah, right," I said, but sure enough when the food arrived it was her carrying the plate, but she hurried off, to another customer. As I took a bite of the burger, they looked at me smiling, "Told you!" And as if that wasn't enough she returned sat next to me and asked, "Hows it goin Mcluvin? Was the burger worth the wait?" Yeah I said and we chatted for a bit, she even showed me her cell phone, though I have yet to figure any purpose to that move. As she walked off this time I thought "Maybe she is interested." I really began to turn to that thought when she returned, and she says, "I'm gonna write you a note." and she wrote, "Hi (drawn heart) Sara." I was convinced but to ask her for a number seemed to be a bit much.
Just as it seemed to be going down hill, pressure was still coming, but I wasn't going to fold, Jose and his date, arrive. "Lucky me," I thought sarcastically, because now we were guaranteed another 30 minutes or so, and Sara's seat would now be gone. The seat order now stood, Jose's date, James, Ben, Lionel, me, and Jose. Now despite my disagreement with my friends assessment of the situation, and what they argued were clear signs of her liking me, I was enjoying getting attention from a girl that had never met me before. The guys caught Jose up on what had happened so far and then he proceeded to berate me in overdrive to make up for the lost time he could have been mocking me.
When she arrived, instead of standing between the two who were ordering who were both on the end of table, she stood between Jose and I, and she got pretty close, too. When she left I had nothing left to argue with. I tried feebly to say that she stood there to stay out of the way of people walking there, but that was about as well founded as a blind man's vote for best cinematography. "Get her number," one of them said, another said at least get a picture, "What?" Asking for a picture would make it look like all I cared about was having people think I know this beautiful girl which wasn't my goal.
Finally Jose sends his final threat, "Matt, if you don't ask for her number when she comes back I'm going ask her to take a picture with you." and there it was the rock and the hard place. Either I man up and ask her, or I get humiliated in front of her. When she came back she offered us a chance for more to drink and Jose looked at me, then began to ask, "Excuse me can you do me a fav-"
"Sara," I interrupted, turning away from the others looking her dead in her beautiful eyes. "Can I get your phone number?" "Are you serious," she asked. "Yeah," I said wavering for a second, I heard the silence of my friends, and felt their eyes on me. "Okay! yeah," she said with a smile, and she began to add her number to the napkin note. "Oh no, I've forgotten it, hang on," she tried to pull it up on her phone, "Oh, well call someone with it," She handed me her phone, "and that will work." I called myself as she walked off, and my friends began to celebrate my success.
When she returned she asked for the remaining digits, and I told her them, she walked off smiling. The only point after that when I kinda tripped was when my card was declined (a stupid walmart card my mom had gotten for me, that was having issues with the attempt to split the tab between cash and credit. So I had to bum money off of Ben, but we sat there waiting and she was interrupted and had to go up front and clap for some birthday thing. Let me tell you its the closing thing I've ever experienced to "cheer flirting" as she clapped she kept her eyes on me and mine were on hers. She rolled her eyes at this stupid thing she had to do, and kept shining that amazing smile at me.
Needless to say even after I left, I've been enamored with her and that night, and I've gotten to talk to her via text a few times, and I'm really picking up the job search in hopes of getting a chance to ask her out before the 3 week rule (mentioned in a previous article takes affect, see October 17, 2007 "Monkey Wrench" by Foo Fighters).
The song of the day is "Two Coins" by Dispatch, just because it was playing as I left the restaurant.
-matt
It started simply enough. I get a call from Lionel telling me that we're having some kind of bachelor party for James, and that we're going to Hooters. Appropriate enough I figure, since its either that or strippers I figured that Hooters would be the better option. So around 6:30 I head across town to the Hooters and get there right as the others do, and we head in. We ran into a snag with arranging for a table because though the four of us (Ben, James, Lionel, and I) were there, we weren't sure how many others we were going to have we estimated 6 at the most, and after about 15-20 minutes of waiting, and talking, they call us and we get walked to our table, we were quickly asked if we thought we needed the two remaining chairs and from what I could tell they took the one next to James. So the layout was (from about the (clockwise from the 11 oclock position empty spot, James, Ben, (going to other side of table) Lionel, me, and empty spot (with chair)
And then she walks up, this trim beautiful woman, "Sara" as her name badge indicated. She was our waitress. She smiled at us through her brown hair that hung in her face ever so slightly. She introduced herself (in that perfectly sweet southern accent that can melt even the most hardened of men) and took our drink orders. I was stunned by her, but not surprised if you catch my meaning. We were at a Hooters, and, after all, they do pride themselves on hiring an attractive waiting staff.
After she had left, none of us taking special note of her (at least to one another) we start joking and I asked what shenanigans they had been up to, and this started us down a the road of quoting Super Troopers (as it has many times before), and then Sara approaches with our drinks and as she passes them to us she asks, "Is that from Super Troopers?" We were taken aback none of us had ever been asked if it was from that film, occasionally we got a "Oh, whats that from?" but it was never asked by name especially not by a girl. "Yeah," I said, trying to hide my shock. "Oh I love that movie!" she said, and then with out skipping a beat she finishes the quote, "Thats it I'm gonna pistol whip the next one of ya that says shenanigans." I was sold, this had to be the greatest waitress I had ever met. We laughed for a bit and then she headed off to take someone else's orders.
As I looked around I observed several girls, some in heavy flirtation with their guests. "How they guarantee a good tip," we joked. I observed some that would even sit down next with their guests while taking down their orders, so I wasn't super surprised when Sara returned and promptly took a seat next to me ("Only one available," I thought to myself) she took our orders flashed us a smile and headed off.
Then the guys started in on me. "She wants you man," "She sat next to you like it was nothing" and so on. I protested, "Alot of the girls here sit next to the customers while they take down the orders, and this was the only seat." "Was it?" James said, I looked around the corner of the table to see that that stool had either never left or at least found its way back to us. "Why would she sit next to me?" I said.
Now I don't consider myself to be hideous but I'm not exactly a stunning male specimen either. I certainly figured if she was given the choice she would have picked James over me.
My friends reasoning? She was interested in me. "Whatever guys," I said. This wouldn't be the first time they had thought something like this would be funny. Plus, few guys really get nervous under pressure quite the way I do and if anyone knows it its these 3 guys (The bastards). I did my best to shrug it off, but then she did something, hard to ignore.
She sat back down at the table, less like a waitress, and more as if she was a member of our party who had left for the bathroom and was just now coming back to the table. Then she turned to me paying no mind to the others, "Do you know who you look like?" she asked me, "Here we go," I thought, as I watched the guys all try to hide their ear to ear smiles. "I have heard a few before, but go for it." We were all waiting to hear: "Josh, from Drake and Josh," or "Andy Milonakis," or even "A Fat Adam Brody (of The OC)," we had heard all of them before, but she added a new one. "That guy from... oh whats that movie, Accepted or Unaccepted?" We knew exactly who she meant. Jonah Hill, a tubby guy, with a reddish brown fro, who appeared not only in Accepted but several other movies, most prominently in Superbad. In fact she joked with me that I should change my last name to Mcluvin.
The guys couldn't hold back their laughter, but she seemed to pick up on my discomfort and quickly added "He's one of my favorite actors!" "Well thanks," I said not wanting her to fret over whether or not I felt insulted and honestly I wasn't I've been compared to worse.
My focus actually lay more on the special attention I was getting and it wasn't lot on my friends either. And after much joking the finished by essentially stating, "Flowers man you've gotta ask her for her number." "Oh, great," I thought, "this is a fair expectation, I mean, I'm just the most insecure guy at the table (ok maybe Ben was normally, but in this moment I was definitely the one leading that race), and they want me, a fat white guy to ask out this gorgeous woman, yeah I'm sure this is what she wants. To get hit on I'm sure she gets this alot."
I was still staunchly arguing to convince them, and somewhat to convince myself, of all the reasons it won't work. "Come on," they pushed. Luckily two other waitresses arrived with our food, well their food, I should say, you see once all the plates were on the table I found myself lacking, Sara then came by hurriedly, assessed our drinks and went off to get refills and when she returned she asked, "Everybody have everything?" With a small laugh in my voice I said, "Well, I don't have my food." "Oh! I'm soo sorry I'll go check and see what happened."
"She just wants to give it to you herself," they said (and note they weren't all speaking in unison, but I was a bit distracted to take note of which of them was saying what. "Yeah, right," I said, but sure enough when the food arrived it was her carrying the plate, but she hurried off, to another customer. As I took a bite of the burger, they looked at me smiling, "Told you!" And as if that wasn't enough she returned sat next to me and asked, "Hows it goin Mcluvin? Was the burger worth the wait?" Yeah I said and we chatted for a bit, she even showed me her cell phone, though I have yet to figure any purpose to that move. As she walked off this time I thought "Maybe she is interested." I really began to turn to that thought when she returned, and she says, "I'm gonna write you a note." and she wrote, "Hi (drawn heart) Sara." I was convinced but to ask her for a number seemed to be a bit much.
Just as it seemed to be going down hill, pressure was still coming, but I wasn't going to fold, Jose and his date, arrive. "Lucky me," I thought sarcastically, because now we were guaranteed another 30 minutes or so, and Sara's seat would now be gone. The seat order now stood, Jose's date, James, Ben, Lionel, me, and Jose. Now despite my disagreement with my friends assessment of the situation, and what they argued were clear signs of her liking me, I was enjoying getting attention from a girl that had never met me before. The guys caught Jose up on what had happened so far and then he proceeded to berate me in overdrive to make up for the lost time he could have been mocking me.
When she arrived, instead of standing between the two who were ordering who were both on the end of table, she stood between Jose and I, and she got pretty close, too. When she left I had nothing left to argue with. I tried feebly to say that she stood there to stay out of the way of people walking there, but that was about as well founded as a blind man's vote for best cinematography. "Get her number," one of them said, another said at least get a picture, "What?" Asking for a picture would make it look like all I cared about was having people think I know this beautiful girl which wasn't my goal.
Finally Jose sends his final threat, "Matt, if you don't ask for her number when she comes back I'm going ask her to take a picture with you." and there it was the rock and the hard place. Either I man up and ask her, or I get humiliated in front of her. When she came back she offered us a chance for more to drink and Jose looked at me, then began to ask, "Excuse me can you do me a fav-"
"Sara," I interrupted, turning away from the others looking her dead in her beautiful eyes. "Can I get your phone number?" "Are you serious," she asked. "Yeah," I said wavering for a second, I heard the silence of my friends, and felt their eyes on me. "Okay! yeah," she said with a smile, and she began to add her number to the napkin note. "Oh no, I've forgotten it, hang on," she tried to pull it up on her phone, "Oh, well call someone with it," She handed me her phone, "and that will work." I called myself as she walked off, and my friends began to celebrate my success.
When she returned she asked for the remaining digits, and I told her them, she walked off smiling. The only point after that when I kinda tripped was when my card was declined (a stupid walmart card my mom had gotten for me, that was having issues with the attempt to split the tab between cash and credit. So I had to bum money off of Ben, but we sat there waiting and she was interrupted and had to go up front and clap for some birthday thing. Let me tell you its the closing thing I've ever experienced to "cheer flirting" as she clapped she kept her eyes on me and mine were on hers. She rolled her eyes at this stupid thing she had to do, and kept shining that amazing smile at me.
Needless to say even after I left, I've been enamored with her and that night, and I've gotten to talk to her via text a few times, and I'm really picking up the job search in hopes of getting a chance to ask her out before the 3 week rule (mentioned in a previous article takes affect, see October 17, 2007 "Monkey Wrench" by Foo Fighters).
The song of the day is "Two Coins" by Dispatch, just because it was playing as I left the restaurant.
-matt
Sunday, June 15, 2008
"Its Going to Be Okay," by The Scrubs Cast
"Then let us no more pass judgment on one another, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother." (Romans 14:13 RSV) Thats what the Bible says, its a well quoted verse in discussions of dealing with those who already live as believers. Now many argue that this "stumbling block" the Hebrew of which is pronounced mick-shole, meaning an obstacle or enticement and the Greek is pronounced scan-dal-on (from which is derived the English word scandal), meaning a snare, or something that offends, in either case the point is easily made that we as Christians should guard our behaviors so that we do not hinder the spiritual growth of our brothers and sisters, or even those whose hearts are still seeking.
My question is this should we include in this that sitting idly by while someone is going away from the Lord and his directions for us? I feel we should for the first time since I began this page I am going to hold back on some details of a story. The short of which is that I have discovered several stumbling blocks in the way of my sister and father. My question becomes "Does Paul's direction in Romans, extend to the removal of stumbling blocks others put in there own way?"
Corinthians 5 opens with a statement from Paul about what should be done with those Christians who are purposefully and with intent going into the darkness. Paul gives us the example of a man sleeping with his father's wife (probably the boys stepmother given the phrasing of it), and his directions about such a man are this v5 "I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus."
So should I allow my family members to start down that path ? Mind you they are both just now going onto that broad road of Matthew 7, the narrow way is still in sight.
I'll try to figure it out.
"Its Going to Be Okay," by The Scrubs Cast. Yeah I picked a song from the scrubs soundtrack but few songs sound that reassuring.
-matt
My question is this should we include in this that sitting idly by while someone is going away from the Lord and his directions for us? I feel we should for the first time since I began this page I am going to hold back on some details of a story. The short of which is that I have discovered several stumbling blocks in the way of my sister and father. My question becomes "Does Paul's direction in Romans, extend to the removal of stumbling blocks others put in there own way?"
Corinthians 5 opens with a statement from Paul about what should be done with those Christians who are purposefully and with intent going into the darkness. Paul gives us the example of a man sleeping with his father's wife (probably the boys stepmother given the phrasing of it), and his directions about such a man are this v5 "I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus."
So should I allow my family members to start down that path ? Mind you they are both just now going onto that broad road of Matthew 7, the narrow way is still in sight.
I'll try to figure it out.
"Its Going to Be Okay," by The Scrubs Cast. Yeah I picked a song from the scrubs soundtrack but few songs sound that reassuring.
-matt
Sunday, June 8, 2008
"A Town Called Hypocrisy" by the Lost Prophets
I'm exhausted so I'll probably keep this one short.
My primary issue for this post is my dad. I don't know whats going on with him. He's way to obsessed with facebook for his own good. He is on there every chance he gets while he's home, and when he's not he's talking to some lady (and there are a few) on the phone. I don't like it. Its just not dad, I'm starting to see why Liz tries to find every excuse to get out of the house. One of these ladies he claims to really like, but then he's stringing along some other woman because she might have some leads on a job.
Its sickening really, I mean even as I type this he's on the phone with one of them, talking all sickeningly sweet, and trying to sound like what he thinks that lady likes. Its just weird and wrong. The weekend I got home he goes out Saturday night and does the walk of shame into the house the next morning just in time, to wash the stink off of himself, and go to church. Never mind that he isn't married to this woman or the facts of biblical advisories about such behavior, or the fact that we really couldn't afford him taking the hour long drive to there and back. This is my dad, who professes self-control and the distinctions between nicety and necessity.
He has always laughingly proclaimed the idea of the double standard between parents and children, but I know for sure that if I, or God forbid Liz, ever followed such an example we'd be punished until we forget what the sun looks like.
The song for the day is "A Town Called Hypocrisy" by the Lost Prophets. Thats what it feels like sometimes when I'm dealing with my dad.
-matt
My primary issue for this post is my dad. I don't know whats going on with him. He's way to obsessed with facebook for his own good. He is on there every chance he gets while he's home, and when he's not he's talking to some lady (and there are a few) on the phone. I don't like it. Its just not dad, I'm starting to see why Liz tries to find every excuse to get out of the house. One of these ladies he claims to really like, but then he's stringing along some other woman because she might have some leads on a job.
Its sickening really, I mean even as I type this he's on the phone with one of them, talking all sickeningly sweet, and trying to sound like what he thinks that lady likes. Its just weird and wrong. The weekend I got home he goes out Saturday night and does the walk of shame into the house the next morning just in time, to wash the stink off of himself, and go to church. Never mind that he isn't married to this woman or the facts of biblical advisories about such behavior, or the fact that we really couldn't afford him taking the hour long drive to there and back. This is my dad, who professes self-control and the distinctions between nicety and necessity.
He has always laughingly proclaimed the idea of the double standard between parents and children, but I know for sure that if I, or God forbid Liz, ever followed such an example we'd be punished until we forget what the sun looks like.
The song for the day is "A Town Called Hypocrisy" by the Lost Prophets. Thats what it feels like sometimes when I'm dealing with my dad.
-matt
Friday, June 6, 2008
"Lithium" by Nirvana
So I promised more posts and I'm trying to keep good on it.
Man, you know sometimes I wonder why I do this thing, I'm not sure who I'm talking to or if anyone is even out there to read this. I guess it is a somewhat cathartic experience for me, just a chance to voice my opinion. oh heck I'll keep doing it.
I like to think, alot, and generally what I've found is that I begin to over think things, people, events, etc. I build up all this anxiety about what people are thinking about me, might be thinking about me, or (and I know its crazy) might not be thinking about me. I'm hoping to get a job that doesn't leave me much time for such ponderings, I'm looking into doing fence building work. It would be a good workout, in the sun and heat (sweating and tanning according to girls), for decent pay. It'd be a far cry better than working for a fast food joint, and better for me.
I can't wait for next school year: There will be a new crop of people to meet and get to know, I'll be living with Preston, which should be sweet. The only downside to next year half of my friends during both semesters, are going overseas.
Well today's song of the day is "Lithium" by Nirvana because lithium is supposed to be this amazing cure for anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorders, but no one is quite sure why, or how it works.
- matt
Man, you know sometimes I wonder why I do this thing, I'm not sure who I'm talking to or if anyone is even out there to read this. I guess it is a somewhat cathartic experience for me, just a chance to voice my opinion. oh heck I'll keep doing it.
I like to think, alot, and generally what I've found is that I begin to over think things, people, events, etc. I build up all this anxiety about what people are thinking about me, might be thinking about me, or (and I know its crazy) might not be thinking about me. I'm hoping to get a job that doesn't leave me much time for such ponderings, I'm looking into doing fence building work. It would be a good workout, in the sun and heat (sweating and tanning according to girls), for decent pay. It'd be a far cry better than working for a fast food joint, and better for me.
I can't wait for next school year: There will be a new crop of people to meet and get to know, I'll be living with Preston, which should be sweet. The only downside to next year half of my friends during both semesters, are going overseas.
Well today's song of the day is "Lithium" by Nirvana because lithium is supposed to be this amazing cure for anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorders, but no one is quite sure why, or how it works.
- matt
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