"C'mon C'mon" by the Von Bondies

Its been a long while since I last posted. I meant to do one Friday, so I'll just go ahead and start there.

Went two stepping Friday night with some friends,. It was a really good time though, had lots of fun, even though I only slow danced, and I only did that twice, but it was a good time. I watched some of the office and a movie with friends when I got back, then when I was in my room (around 3:45am) falling asleep in my chair, when I hear the alarm going off, all of the sudden Rob, who had been staying with friends in Allen, bursts through the door and promptly nudes up and jumps in the bathroom on the off chance any one comes looking for them he planned to claim he was in there the whole time.

Saturday I didn't do much of anything, a little homework here and there, but mostly I read this amazing book The Gutter by Craig Gross (more on that later) and then stayed up way too late watching the office after like 3 hours of 24.

Sunday, I woke up too late for church went to a late lunch, and then (to my horror) I discovered that my book bag with my bible, and my math and geology books and notebooks was missing (and is still missing). So I couldn't do any of the homework I had planned to do. I went to Ashley Moore's birthday party and then I went to Downtown with Brooklyn, Laura, Ashley, and Preston.

Yesterday was a long day I didn't get to sleep til 4 because I was doing and ETS (thats Epistle Theme Sheet) on 2 Timothy while trying to watch The Office (terrible combo). Got my Geo test back, 85%, seems to be all I can do in most classes now. It just kills me that I study so hard for these tests and I keep making mid range B's. I take all the notes; I study for hours; I read the chapters, and for what? A stupid B! The only class I feel good about is my Bible class because he gives us so many opportunities for extra points (1400 points worth of quizzes tests and assignments, only 900 for an A). I just can't seem to absorb much of the stuff, last semester was a breeze, barely even had to study for those tests. This semester, there is always something that just doesn't stick, some little factoid that I remember as soon as the test is over, or that (when I get a chance to review the test) I recognize as something I had looked at several times in studying.

One of the good things about yesterday was that I got to talk a girl from my lit class that I never talk to, that whole intimidated by pretty girls thing. Talked to her for about 15 mins in the student center.So a step in the right direction with that issue. Also i got to go to Kelly's and Macye's birthday party.

Today, how do I begin to talk about today? Well I guess its time this is mentioned on here, sorry Dad that I haven't told you about this part of my life sooner. About a year and a half ago, when my parents were splitting up, I got really depressed and got introduced to a couple of people (friends of friends) who liked to throw parties. Well we started to hang out, alot. Slowly but surely I got sucked into that world, drinking, smoking, painkillers they were all par for the course at one of these parties, at least for us.

Then at one such party on April 14th, my friend a girl name Cherrie (pronounced Share-ie) got so drunk that she passed out and nearly died of alcohol poisoning. Thankfully, the police as well as paramedics arrived. I made the call I hadn't had anything to drink yet (having just shown up moments before she collapsed) so I was just told to go home once I found out that she was alright. So as I drove home, early on the morning of the 15th, I promised myself that I wouldn't be a part of that lifestyle ever again, because I had brought Cherrie along for the ride and was almost responsible for her death, and I haven't had a drop of alcohol sense. For an entire year. So that makes today my sobriety day. Thats right my sobriety day is 5 days before 4-20 so you can see how serious I am about that
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Seperate and apart from that, I find myself dealing with alot of questions lately, is youth ministry what I want to do with my life, if not what should I do. This question has been haunting me since that fateful interview at Reidland Church of Christ in KY, but then I read The Gutter and I began to seriously consider if this was the right choice for me. The whole book is about going out and ministering to people where they are "in the gutter." Its not a revolutionary idea by any stretch of the imagination. Its what Jesus did he didn't ask all the sinners to join him at temple to hear the good news, sometimes he didn't even start off telling them about it. He fed them, and healed them. One of the primary verses that guides Gross is Matthew 25:35-40 particularly verse 40 which says "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me" There is truly too much in this book for me to do it justice, read it if you can.

Its lead me to ask questions of where I should go and what I should do with my life, I'm praying for the wisdom to make the right choice. I also emailed the career center to see if they can help me figure it out (they claim to have some ability to help those that are Undeclared maybe it'll work for me too.)

The song of the day is "C'mon C'mon" by the Von Bondies, because not only is it the theme for Rescue Me (an awesome show) but also it has come up first twice when I shuffled my Ipod, not to mention they're right, "things were good when we were young."

-matt

"Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex

Well I only made it 90 hours, but since I did "The Happy Dance" in the caf its all good.

Well Spring Sing has come and gone, and I must say that of all the performances I don't think that the christmas themed one should have been the winner, I was really feel that TNT/ZP should have one but Iota Chi/PTP/GSP or XO/DGR were both far and away better than Kojies.

I've been thinking alot lately about how most of the girls I'm around, I'm only around because of my friends about how in one on one interactions with any of them they are pretty reserved. I've come to the conclusion that for the most part they only even bother with me because I'm a friend of the people they really want to be around. I can't say I blame them, I mean I'm just a big, obnoxious guy to them, but whatever.

The Theme Song for the Day is "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex, because it was the song playing in my head while I danced.

-matt

"Fall into Sleep"by Mudvayne

So I made the rather hazardous decision of trying to see how long I can go without sleep. In itself a rather meager attempt. However, the risk comes from the fact that my friends now seem united to see me fail in my ultimate goal to make it until Spring Sing on Saturday night.

The song for the day is "Fall into Sleep"by Mudvayne because that is what I'm avoiding.

-matt

"I'm a Lumberjack" by Monty Python

So, what would you think if you said that I wanted to quit being a bible major?

I'm just not sure its where I belong. Maybe its just what my that my dad said while I was home that is messing with me, but I keep thinking about all the other things I might be good at or might be good at. I'm not sure what yet, but I'm going to try to find out.

Also I'm really irratated with my limited transport access now that I have money, because if I want to ask a girl out I can't take her anywhere.

The song of the day is "I'm a Lumberjack" by Monty Python. Because that was a guy who knew what he wanted to do in life.

-matt

"Up to the Mezzanine" by The Nobility

I've just watched a crazy movie, called the Nines with Ryan Reynolds. It was awesome. Its one of those movies where the more you watch the more the crazy stuff begins to make sense.

Anyway as far as the rest of my break I'd have to say its pretty lame. I mean not that I don't enjoy spending time with my Dad and Sis but all of my friends are in school or class all day, and most of them work when they aren't there.

Its been a slow week, but I do get to interview at the end of the week, with Reidland Church of Christ in Paducah, KY. I'm not sure what lesson I'm gonna do for them, Mike Darling (the Youth Minister) told me that he is open to whatever I have to offer.

So what do I do? I have no idea.

The song for the day is "Up to the Mezzanine" by The Nobility. I've chosen this song because it is a really fun song.

-matt

"Riverboat" by The Nobility

Wow I'm not sure what to post but I feel I should post something.

I sometimes just sit around and don't want to anything I've begun to feel really worthless lately. I always get this way in the few weeks after Valentine's Day. I just have yet to be able to overcome my fear of asking a girl out here. As I've said before there was a time when I was at least competent at it.

I just hide behind one excuse after another. First it was that they'd want nothing to do with a guy that looks like me. Which is proven a false theory time and time again in this place. Then I blame it on a lack of money and a car, but there is plenty to do around hear that is within walking distance and/or cheap so I can't confidently make that argument. I think part of it is that I'm not always very trusting of my choices in girls I've been burned a few times.

And because of that inability I judge myself really harshly, which is unfair to myself. I just don't know.

"Riverboat" by The Nobility, because "OH! you know how to bring a man down."

-matt

well I think that's all for today.

"Santeria" by Sublime

Don't you ever wish you could figure out what the future held?

I know I do. Alot of times, I feel like if I just knew what came next I'd have a better chance of making decisions now.

Or maybe mind reading. I just wish I could figure out this girl in my Geology class. I really enjoy talking to her and joking with her in class and we continuously try to hang out outside of class mostly to study but there have been a few other occassions, but no matter what it never seems to pan out.

Complicating matters further she has a boyfriend. Though she never mentions him, or makes mention of even having one. I just don't know what to do.

I don't see her tomorrow because I have a youth internship interview tomorrow with a church in Brownsville, TX which is about 4 miles from the border. Lets see how it goes.

The theme song for the day is "Santeria" by Sublime, because "I don't practice Santeria, I ain't got no crystal ball."

-matt